:(

i think someone hates me...

mental conversations

i thought, "imaginary conversations? hindi e.. di eto yung term na hinahanap ko. arrrggghh." ok so now that i remembered, it's supposed to be MENTAL not IMAGINARY. haha.... so why was i thinking about it? wala lang. naisip ko lang. i was talking to aiza the other day and asked, 'is it normal that i create these mental pictures in my head and converse with people created by my imagination?"... she said, "yuh. di ka nag iisa." haha... it's fun actually. like daydreaming.

i'm about to finish a 22 page reviewer for RESEARCH. i should've finished hours ago.. ha! anyway...

wala lang maisip

magandang gabi, blog. kasalukuyan ay 6:56 pm ngayon. ako ay nagpahinga muna sa pagbabasa ng aking mga previous exams sa LMR at Prof. Adjustment. naaliw naman ako at marami din akong natutunan sa aming naging lecturer na si Mrs. Capili. Magaling sha. ngayon ko lang nauunawaan ang mga bagaybagay tungol sa subject na yun. Salamat din pala kay Mr. Leocadio sa napaka komikong reviewer tungkol sa research. pinadali nito ang Research subject.

ang init init parin kahit palapit na ang June. kanina umulan.. saglit lang. pakiramdam ko nga na hindi man lang pumatak sa lupa ang ulan... nag evaporate kaagad.

tungkol sa pre-diabetis: hindi pa pala ako nakakapag kwento tungkol sa aking kondisyon. pinatawan ako ni Dra. Carreon ng pre-diabetic (condition).... badtrip talaga! pigil na pigil ako sa mga pagkain na kinakain ko. ayan tuloy... payatot na ako... kulang nalang saakin ay mga papel de hapon. pwede na akong maging saranggola... liliparin ng hangin. haaay.. anyway... mas ok narin na ganto kesa naman mag karon ako ng mga komplkasyon balang araw... nasa huli ang pag sisisi... kaya DIET muna tayo ngayon.... 6 months! anim na bwan bago ako mag pa pacheckup ulit. ang tagal pa. sana naman e may pagbabago na by that time.

hrmmm.. ano pa ba ang kkwento ko sayo... wala pa ulit... sige hanggang sa muli. dito muna.

post graduation entry

it's been days after the graduation but it doesn't feel like it. maybe because we are still in school reviewing for the much awaited exam on july. woooh. sometimes, i don't want to think about it cos anxiety is creeping all over. ever since the world began, i have been challenged with test taking. anyway, i'll stop talking about it as of now. i'll just study and study for it. no, i won't say it. i'll just do it.. *ziiip*

ok, so what's up with me? before the graduation, ate aimee and i frequently went to manila to buy stuff for the graduation, as well as for the upcoming weddings (yah know.. dresses and shoes). thank goodness, my OC tendencies didn't come up that time. ate aimee didn't (and still doesnt) like to disclose where we went. so i'm just going to show some of the pictures. hehe.

hrmm. graduation day: tita mely, tita lucy, trisha and ate rochie attended my graduation. :)! we had our small celebration in Faustina's in Los Banos. it was a small place like Berty's. but they have the freshest food served. loved the food. thanks to ate rochie's treat! :) i ordered the tomato spaghetti with white cheese. i also tasted the crispy fish fillet with freshly blended tomato dip. sooo YUM! :D luuuurved it! :D

after the graduation: back to school. we just finished medical surgical nursing and the professional preparation. the old atty. was quite funny. he was like a grandfather telling stories to his grandchildren. his accent was hilarious! hahaha! :)

btw, i have seen my diabetician/ diabetologist (haha, i dunno what these doctors are called) . she told me to eat whatever i like for 3 days! NO DIETING! hrmmm... well, when did i ever diet anyway? hahaha! i'm excited. later, im going to eat @ mr. jones (the diner) in makati and meet up with my old friend, frankie. :) anyway.. after 3 days of pigging out, my blood will be tested for OGTT and Hgba1c. Lord, i hope everything will be normal. and i promise and try to eat healthier. actually i did start eating healthier for the past few weeks. i seldom eat white rice. i cook my own high fiber red rice and rolled oatmeal. i also bought the cocosugar with a low glycemic index of 35. i drink milk every morning (errr, sometimes i forget to drink 'em) and i take vitamin C, too! :) should i want something sweet, i choose the sugar free stuff but i try to get rid of foods with aspertame. hrmm, i choose those with maltodextrose and sucralose which are sugar substitutes. :D

geez, i have to get going now.

graduation practice and random blabber

i don't know why we should practice the mass songs. i mean, they could just flash the lyrics on the lcd and follow the tune. that would be easy. i would agree to have a meticulous practice if the songs had second voices and all that ekek... but nah, there aren't.

the practice was done at around 8:45pm. good thing we have cable and was able to watch american idol replay on starworld. i'm not liking the A.I this year. they picked out beautiful and handsome contestants but less talented compared to season 7 (david cook's time). though particularly, i do like didi, big mike and shibhon. i just don't feel any connection with them. maybe that's the trend. i mean, they took MILEY CYRUS as a mentor last night! she's not even a good singer. her tone is all over the place. her recording voice seemed to be edited. (no offense to miley fans out there but that's what i think.) but, let me tell you, she does have a great stage presence. Disney taught her well.

lately, i feel like a melting pot of emotional baggage. i feel like a counselor sometimes. haha. it's great that people entrust their feelings to me. i learn from them, too. although, i don't get to use the therapeutic style of communication. i get carried away sometimes, giving out my own opinions. not therapeutic according to psych nursing. oops.

i should be studying right now.

dear blog,

alam mo, sorry... sorry at naiiwan na kita mag isa. hindi na kita mashado nakkwentohan tungkol sa mga nangyayari sakin... hindi na ako nakakapagbuhos ng emosyon sayo.. pasensya na.

sige kkwentohan kita. summary lang kasi dami nang nangyari. (konti lang actually).

1. maligaya talaga ako at naipalabas namin ang aming pagtatanghal sa asian civ nuong nakaraang linggo. natutuwa ako sa mga nagsasabing "mukhang major production yan ah". haha. kung alam lang nila, nag cramming kami jan... ang gaganda ng mga suot ng aking mga kaklase. nagpahiwatig na may pakialam sila para sa presentation na to. nakakatuwa! meron man kaming hindi pagkakaunawaan nuong gabi ng paghahanda, naging maayus naman ang lahat. sobrang nakakapagod nga lang. parang 1st time kong maiyak sa pagod. narealize ko, na pag ikaw ang leader (mejo parang naging leader din kasi ako dito), hindi ka bibigyan ng recognition... IKAW ang magbibigay ng recognition sa mga ka group mo... ang tanging recognition lang na matatanggap ko e yung mga compliments. hehe. im not too big on recognition anyway. napaisip lang ako. at isa pa, at one point, feeling ko wala akong ginawa or konti lang. most of the time, when i do something, hands on ako. e eto, hands on din naman, pero nag delegate ng task. nawweirdohan lang ako. maganda ito for a "last performance" sa school.

2. dahil nakalanghap ng thinner sa pagpipinta at sa puyat ay bumaba ang resistensya. sumama parin sa mga llanto sister para mag gala sa tagaytay. halata sa litrato, namumutla na ako... pero picture taking parin. hehe.

3. full blown fever na ito. wow. badtrip talaga. inabot pa sa review ang aking umaapoy na temperatura, panlalamig ng katawan at paninikip ng paghinga. buti nakaka-absorb pa ako ng impormasyon. ang topic ay PEDIA. magaling ang lecturer. bunggaloid! :D

4. psych ang topic nanaman. :) hihi. sobrang natutuwa talaga ako kay sir KIKO. sobrang nakakatawa na hindi slapstick. eto:

- meron akong studyante, bawat pagpasok nya sa classroom nagbibilang ng ilaw.. tinanong ko kung bakit.. sabi nya ritwal na daw nya yun... e kung bigyan ko iyon ng christmas light (audience: LAUGHS)

- ale: (to sir kiko's friend) ikaw babae, sama ka ng sama sa bakla, na pagkakamalan ka tuloy pokpok!

kiko: (babbling to self habang hinahawi ang bangs)... eeh, ako lang naman ang kasama nito a... napagkamalan pang bugaw.. (audience: LAUGHS)

he was really FUNNY!!! and his facial expression, HILARIOUS! i'm gonna miss that guy. gusto ko shang maging friend. pero, unreachable. lol.

5. sa wakas, nakapagbayad narin ng mga tax. at least accomplished na iyon. wala nang problema. nakaabot ako sa 10% off! yeah! kape kape with ate aimee. excited na sha sa kasal nya. nahahawaan tuloy ako sa pagka excited. napa, sign up tuloy ako sa isang wedding website. LOL!

6. tomorrow is another day. manonood ako ng ALICE IN WONDERLAND. sana hindi ako ma disappoint.

ayun, so that ends my blogging for today. i will try to write more often. i missed you, dear blog! haha till next time!

Love,

Amo mo.

After watching G-force

it's funny how life could be taken away from someone just in once snap of a finger. after all, life's just borrowed. i saw "G-force" tonight and noticed Justin Mentell (the pet store guy). it told myself, ang pogi naman nito. hence, i searched him online. Sad. i learned that he died February 1, 2010. He was 27. a handsome, talented young man, now resting 6 feet under. Life is truly short. he's lucky in a way. not only that he was able to explore the world and had achieved something, he will no longer see and experience the deteriorating world.

Mr. Mentell, Rest In Peace..

Praning

i'm kinda stressed right now ... not because of all the work needed to be done for school but because of my assumed current medical condition. i have to visit an endocrinologist to have my blood checked and see if my blood glucose is normal. i pray to God that it is normal... eating is happiness for me.. if that will be taken away from me, that'll be super saaad! i can't eat chocolates, chicken and sea foods. now, rice.. and dairy queen??? i feel like crying...

i'm grieving... for an ASSUMED condition... so i really have to have myself checked immediately. *sniff*

ONCE

ONCE (movie).... this film brought back a lot of memories. got teary-eyed for a moment there. love love love the soundtrack. :)

Moonlight Sonata

since i have started blogging yesterday about figure skating, i decided to post another performance by the "Ice All Stars 2009". i was in awe when i saw this. i love watching group skatings! it's like synchronized swimming.. only they're not swimming... By the way, Madkata, thank you so much for dropping by and linking ilia's website! i was thrilled to see him all grown up. he looks way different now (still handsome as ever) with that sun-tanned skin and well-developed deltoid muscles. (haha). i noticed, he smiles a lot, too. he actually looked like that football Beckham guy. Agree?

Moonlight Sonata. I've heard this music once. since then i've been trying to find the title of this music...and whoa, hello! thank you po! nalaman ko narin sa wakas ang title mo!

The video was taken from Bodashiri's youtube. :)

winter olympics... coming REAL soon!

i remember myself watching the figure skating competition way back in 1998 winter olympics. haha! that time, it was tara lipinski who was titled the youngest (and still is) gold medalist in the winter olympic games. technically, she was awesome. she was able to execute every jump, every spin accurately. but to be honest (in my opinion), (not that i'm an expert or anything) i thought she was too stiff. she looked like a twig twirling and swirling on the ice. LOL. but, haha, she was great. everyone liked her. what the heck, right? i learned to appreciate her style, crisp and solid.

Ilia Kulik, the russian guy i fell in love with, was the most awesome, brilliant skater i've ever seen. he carried out his moves not only with utmost precision but with grace and fluidity. i used to imagine dancing with him on ice... *twinkling eyes* ahihihihi. :D look, he's still my prince after all these years! LOL.

Winter Olympics 2010 is going to be held in Canada. i have no idea who'll compete in this year's figure skating competition. I may have outgrown my likeness in the sport. i miss it a lot, though. it was more of a hobby to me. (although, i was really planning on joining the Philippine team just to get those cool jackets. ahahaha!).

that's me, leading the bunch. Miss these guys.

mom: i don't get you. is there something about you i should know?? huh???

son: mom... there's nothing you should know....

mom: (galit na) but why do you (blah blah blah..)...

too much eavesdropping, eh? haha. the mom looked very ethnic and the son's obviously half caucasian. the mom was scolding her son for something. i imagine marlene aguilar scolding jason ivler. lol!

melay and i met @ boston cafe in LB this afternoon. thanks for the treat, melay! congrats to your kuya for having a successful biz. kudos! :D

i won!!! :D

i was ecstatic when i won the lottery! 50 PESOS!!!! ahehehe. nay adelle and i won. haha!

last week: i haven't been writing here for quite a while as i have been quite busy at school. last week, my classmates and i got really busy editing our cases! it's supposed to be a simple task. but, there were too many corrections. all of us went through a great deal of stress. printing and reprinting... tsk! too much time spent on that silly document. ugh.

today: i've met another set of friends from assumption. (to be continued); dinner at Alba with the family. (to be continued)

now: is reading "Dating Advice: 7 Mistakes Single Women Make"... hrmmm. it makes sense.

sorry. i will continue this later. hehe. :D

ok ting blog na to: http://boy-okoy.blogspot.com/2006_11_01_archive.html

give thanks, give back

funny part from father suarez's sermon.

father suarez: a woman came to me, crying, asking for help. she said, "father! i have a problem. i'm 45 years old.. and still don't have a boyfriend!!! huhuhu.".sabi ko, ang unsual naman. hindi kasi madalas na gantong problema ang natatanggap ko. i didn't know what to tell or advise her. so i prayed for her. while praying for her in silence, she suddenly exclaimed, "father! i know what i should do! i should lose weight!". i said to myself, "Diyos ko po, salamat naman po! alam na nya ang gagawin nya.". so, i celebrated mass after encountering the woman. after the mass, i saw her, again, waving her hands. "father! andito pa ako!". she said "i have a problem, father.". "what is it?". "i don't know how to lose weight! what should i do! :(" . i thought, "Diyos ko po, Hesukristo, ano ang ipapayo ko sa babaing ito?". and then, i heard the Lord whisper to me on what to tell the woman. i told the woman this, "this is what you should do: DON'T EAT TOO MUCH!"... after a few months, a womam, slim and sexy, came to me, along with a tall guy. she said, "father, do you remember me? i was the one who approached you! i want to thank you". i stared at her and tried recalling... "abay oonga, ikaw nga! anong nangyari, ang payat payat mo na ah!" the woman, answered, "e father, kapag nagugutom kasi ako at nakakakita ng pagkain, naaalala ko ang mukha mo. nawawalan ako ng gana! thank you ah! this is my boyfriend pala..."

(hagalpakan ng tawa ang audience)

LOL! i really love fr. suarez's humor.

Single, Beautiful and RICH

ahahaha! sobrang natatawa ako sa humor ni Sir Henry Tan! teaching strategy nya hindi boring. dinadaan sa humor pero hindi lumilihis sa topic. nakakatuwa pa yung mga choices of words nya. LOL! nagcocomplement sa kanyang nonverbals.

"si aimee, pag kumikita na at kumikita na ng malaki, aba, she can do whatever she wants. magsusuot sha ng malaking hat (with hand gestures) at mahabang traaail, humahangin hangin pa! at may bit bit na maliit na aso!" grabeng imagination ah. ahaha!

ewan, pero natatawa talaga ako kay sir. tuwa na nakakatawa ah.

feeling ko sincere din sha sa mga sinasabi nya. na concerned talaga sha para saamin. nung pinapagalitan kami, dahil mabababa daw ang grades namin, sabi nya, nakakaiyak daw sha... at totoo... mukha nga shang maluluha! halatang nagpipigil.

saludo ako kay sir! he sets a good example to all of us. he's not only a good nurse, he's really a good mentor. too. Thanks, Sir Hen Ganda! pagpatuloy nyo po ang pag-gabay saamin! :D

Late post for 1-02-09

i know, i know, this entry is kinda late. anyway, i'm going on now. lol. this is a nice memory, that's why i want to share it. just to tickle the happy memories in the future.

January 2: Saguijo night. Laughtrip, soundtrip, beertrip, sodatrip, skyflaketrip, tropicalhuttrip,puyatrip, chikatrip with mygz&enrico, muffet&burn, ert &vince

the girls

the guitarist

the music

the reggae brothers

shutter bug

i was blog hopping earlier and saw The Trigger-Happy Penguin. the photos were great. so, in this note, i thought of placing here some of the favorite photos i took. hehe. sorry, manggaya muna ako.

this is one of my favorite photos taken in 2008 for the "Twilight Musical" we presented for the Christmas party. don't they look good together? ahehehe.

the water fall shot! weeeh! i love this. i used my sister's canon D60. unfortunately, i forgot how i did this. hrmm. i only remember using a tripod and adjusting apertures and shutter speeds.

the wild hogs! lol. asked permission to the parent before i took the pic. lol. i used a compact cybershot P200.

i don't see mar roxas anywhere. do you?

I don't usually check horoscopes (in My Daily Moment). but i did this morning and this is what i got:

Libra

A partner or colleague might be going through some changes right now, causing you to wonder if you have a future with this person. It might appear that you're moving ahead while this person is lagging behind. This could be just a temporary condition, Libra, so take care not to jump to any conclusions at this time. Offer your assistance and do what you can, then let the person work things out. This may pass in a few days.

*nods* ok... let's see. hehe.

i'll try to cook this... looks good eh? it's called MEXICAN PORK POSOLE. :) (taken again from MyDailyMoment) haha

New Year's Resolution for 2010.

they say, "it's easier said than done." well, i'm not gonna SAY it.. i'm going to TYPE it! LOL. this will be my official list of 'things to do' to make me a better person (i hope)... here goes.

1. i will try to focus more on my studies (just like when i was in EAC)

2. i will lessen my facebook time

3. i will lessen the OKRAY attitude

3.5. i will try to be more generous

4. i will try to be more agreeable than disagreeable

5. i will try to see the good in people more than the bad

6. i will celebrate my womanhood from time to time

7. i will eat healthier meals and take care of myself

8. i will find ways to alleviate my OCB

9. i will be more friendly - will talk to old friends and newly found friends, people i know from the past and acquaintances

10. i will be more TIME BOUND! - people will surely be happy when i get to be time bound. hoorah!

Snug fit. Happy New Year!

the past few days had been quite hectic for me...but fun. hehe. (i'm watching 'bed time story'... can't concentrate with blogging. lol).

Dec 27

time with Kaplan people: it was good to have spent time with Tin, Faith and maam Lyn again. sad that Chel couldn't make it. had a nice dinner @ Army Navy. Faith gave me her old jacket as a Christmas present. awww. :) thanks faith! :D

Dec 28

tried to shop for a dress for the wedding. it was quite frustrating when you get to like something and someone would disagree with you. i ended up buying nothing. ugh. next time, i will shop alone. was tired and a bit disappointed when i got home. anyway, i enjoyed ate aimee, leslie and ate glenda's company. bonding time narin yun since i don't get to see them often.

Dec 29

woke up early for Blessy and Mark's wedding. it was a simple, intimate wedding with a touch of a reggae on it. :) food was nice. it was nice to have met my HS classmates (ella, irish, ida). they didn't change much. since Mex was absent, it was Vernon who took the stage to the hosting. haha. did a little photoshooting.

("you may kiss the bride"- father)before taking wedding photos, make sure that you've set up the shutter speed properly.

...or else, you'll miss the moment..see, i missed the kissing part.

the reception wasn't over, but i had to leave since i had to head to manila immediately. went home, packed my stuff and fled to meet up with ert at megamall. ugh... too many people at the mall! why do people still shop after christmas?!? geez... bought a new pair of sandals for the dress ert lent me (she didn't agree with the dress i planned to wear).. the sandals was a size bigger than mine. badtrip kasi yung sales lady. she said it's better to get the larger one so it would look better... i was more comfortable with my size but, thanks to my obsessive-compulsive behavior, i bought the larger one. it was not the lady's fault.. it was the OCB. grrrrh. it took me awhile before i bought the damn sandals... tsk. despite this other frustration, the sandals looked good. :D

after the hellish panic buying of stuff, ert and i traversed the highways to reach Bulacan (@ Ms. Ana's rest house). Wow! that was challenging. it was supposed to be a one-bus ride trip. but instead, we rode 2 buses and 2 jeepneys. not to mention the HEAVY TRAFFIC. i was getting worried since Ms. Ana was waiting for us. mahihimatay na ako sa hiya! arrived at bulacan at 2am. adventure!

Dec 30 (wedding day)

9:00 am: Ms. Ana and her family were very pleasant. such nice people. :) good vibes. they have a nice house, too. she said it was their dream home. so nice. :) the morning breeze in bulacan was refreshing (after going through yesterday. LOL) along with a hearty breakfast and the aroma of coffee... mmmmm... nice! well, going back to reality, we hurried ourselves again to go to Nueva Ecija. such a faaaaaaaaaaaaar faaaaaaaaaraway place to go to. good thing, i had my book and highlighter with me. killed time on the road, listening to black jack. had an EAT and RUN incident, too... literally.

2:30 pm: AT LAST, we have reached the place. Cherry looked gorgeous on her wedding gown. haha! hindi ako sanay! LOL. :D she's the type who usually wears shorts and t-shirt. so, this event was really something to look up to. haha! it was a simple, intimate wedding. it's funny, because most of the guests were from manila. haha. dami talagang nag mamahal kay Cherry! hindi biro ang pumunta doon! Cherry's hubby looks like the quiet type. they say, he's the total opposite of Cherry. lol.nice! :)

We left N.E at 8pm. arrived in Bulacan at 1am. shempre, traffic nanaman!

overall experience was great despite the hurdles we went through. :)

Dec 31

Arrived home @ 10am. whoa! pagod ang lola mo. i just laid down but didn't sleep. 6:00pm, we went to Paranaque to spend New year's eve. hehe. Lola didn't want to leave her house on new year's eve. pamahiin ata. did webcam with kuya rico and fam, kuya mitch and fam and momi, dadi and biboy (with voice).

talked to tita trining through YM for a few minutes. she had to leave soon.

We also have met ate Maddie's boyfriend, JP, for the 1st time. he seemed to be a gentleman and a good person.

YUM!

Jan 1

jumped as high as i could. baka tumangkad pa! hehe. sabay nag brown out. nyak. since there were fireworks outside, hello asthma attack. elk. went to sta. cruz in the evening to spend time with the mom's side clan. sarap ng gulaman...

haaay. done with blogging. i want to sleep now. told myself to write this before the details in my mind fade.